On Letting Go

Expansion and Transformation

My year started out with the concepts of expansion, embodiment, and being enough. I know what expansion means, generally. It’s the enlarging of something, making something more vast, occupying more space. However, I had not quite considered what expansion means personally, and how it might feel. In a vision workshop hosted by Maia Benaim at the beginning of the year, the concept of personal expansion was introduced as “expanding our capacity to hold more,” not by exuding more effort, but simply by being capable of doing so. Implicit in this expansion is the belief of our own enoughness, the recognition that you are enough for the things you desire. And one way to practice enoughness is by embodying what you desire, stepping into the version of you that already has it, as much as possible in your current stage.

Repeating Motifs

As I write this essay, I am moved by the synchronicity of my first essay of the year and this final one, joining in a full circle moment on how the themes that opened my year — especially that of expansion — have played out for me in 2025. This year, both by choice and by force, I have expanded, and it’s been both an uncomfortable and a rewarding experience. In redirecting my energy and focus from the things about my current stage I dislike to the things that add joy to my days, I became more open this year. I am grateful to have reconnected more deeply with my creative self, while navigating deep uncertainty about what the next chapter of life holds. My community has expanded and deepened with beautiful people both new and established in my life, reigniting my appreciation for my current home base. My love for vintage style has been reawakened, and I’ve been blessed to spend most of the year engaging in my passion of traveling nearly every month. And I’ve just finished my 34th book of the year — Dream Count by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, one of my favorite authors — centered around the reflections of four interconnected women on their dreams and desires during a time period. How fitting for this end-of-year review.

Letting go is crucial to expansion.

As the year has progressed, I realize how much I have let go in the process of expanding and blooming where I am. Expansion is transformation. To expand is to become larger and hold more space, to no longer exist in your previous state. The previous version of you is let go in creation of the new one. And letting go is crucial to expanding. You cannot be both the smaller version of yourself and the larger one at the same time. You cannot embody the characteristics of the new version of yourself while keeping all the same ones from the previous version. And yes, this is an uncomfortable process, whether you choose to change or you change in response to something that happens in life.

Imagine a rubber balloon out of its packaging. It’s flat. When you stretch the mouth of the balloon around a faucet and turn the water on, the balloon begins to expand as it fills with water. As it grows, it is no longer the same size or shape as it was when it came out of the package. Now, imagine you are the balloon. How do you think this expansion might feel?

During this past year, I have let go of my focus on leaving my current home base for the first time since moving here several years ago — and it’s made me feel so much lighter. I have let go of control, or what was really the illusion thereof. I have let go of resistance. I am continuing to let go of fears, limitations, patterns and even physical things that may not best serve me staying in the best headspace on my expansion into a new chapter. In refocusing and being aware of my attention, new insight emerges. Where there was resentment, I see opportunity and support. Where there was boredom, I embrace creativity. Where there continues to be uncertainty, I find comfort in synchronicities.

This year has been a continued exercise in noticing what I pay attention to and refocusing my energy accordingly (from what I despise to what I desire). As we wrap up 2025, to clear the foundation for my own expansion and make way for new beginnings, my focus is on letting go.

Let go, allow, and trust the process that will bring you into the change you’d like to step into.

Personal Akashic Reading, August 2025

Recommended reading:

• The Lora Studio: Say When
  Laura Valenti
  (for beauty in the simple pleasures of life and perspective with aesthetics)

• Next Dinner Party
  Emily Walker
  (for living more creatively with more awareness of how you pay attention)

• Dream Count
  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Prompts:

• How have you expanded this year? Have you experienced any loss? What parts of your life have transformed, and what have you let go of in these transformations?

• Is there anything in your life that your viewpoint has shifted on this year or that you pay attention to differently? What situations, circumstances, people, or things can you divest your attention from to refocus on things that are more fulfilling?

• As we close the year, what can you let go of to make space for and expand your capacity to hold what the new year may bring for you? Make a list — try to get specific — and continue consulting it through the end of the year. Here are some general topics from my list, for reference:

  • Fears, limitations, overthinking, self-sabotage, etc.

  • Worn out clothing and shoes beyond repair, items that don’t contribute to my joy and fulfillment, books I never plan to reread, etc.